This beautiful little piece of chilling humor narrates the experience of a little girl helping her nanny order her baby sister!
Full text of this story is available online.
Narrator is an unnamed little girl. Looks like her mom is a very busy woman - mom/daughter meet Wednesdays for supper! Nanny has convinced mom to have a second child: "has arranged for a nice lady to plant Mother’s egg and do all the messy parts, then give the baby to us when it’s done."
She sits down with the nanny in front of the computer to order rest of the new baby. They have many choices:
- Brother or sister: she wants sister "because a brother would be a pest and get into my best things, like Courtney Taylor’s brother Robby, who programmed her mobile phone to ring with a nasty farting sound."
- Its birthday: Oct, "so her party won’t get in the way of Christmas" or her own birthday.
- Skin color: "Babies only come in about six colours".
- Hair & eye color.
- Intelligence - e.g., stupid, or above average. Better intelligence costs more money.
- Good at maths?
- Bioimmunity: Better immunity costs more money.
This option was apparently on a popup screen; the girl is smart enough to restore screen the way nanny left. Presumably, she will get a bioluminscent sister!
Ringing Up Baby, short story, review
First published: Nature magazine, 27 April 2006