Mark Clifton's "The Dread Tomato Addiction" (flash fiction, satire, free): Logic as used by certain classes of people!
This funny piece must be among the better flash fiction by anyone. OK - original Astounding classification for it is "essay", but it reads well as fiction too.
This is about the convenient logic used by "The average politician", "The advertising copywriter", & "The dedicated moralist". Their logic is demonstrated by arguing how tomatoes are so addictive, in spite of being absolutely fatal! A couple of examples (story has many more):
- "Of those people born before the year 1800, regardless of race, color, creed or caste, and known to have eaten tomatoes, there has been one hundred per cent mortality!"
- "Obtain two dozen tomatoes ... crush them to a pulp in exactly the state they would have if introduced into the stomach, pour the vile juice and pulp into a bowl, and place a goldfish therein. Within minutes the goldfish will be dead!"
Fact sheet.First published: Astounding, February 1958.
Download full text.
Alternate download links (these are slightly edited version of the original): link1, link2.
Listed among the stories from John Campbell's Astounding/Analog.
Related: Stories of Mark Clifton.