Vern Fearing's "The Sloths of Kruvny" (short story, humor, free): Why the hell is there no war!

Generally complete nonsense, but a fun read that brought me smile at several places.

Story summary.

Commander Metternich of Galaxy Patrol is very worried: "Nobody's Attacking The Earth"! "Nobody Is Out To Conquer The Universe! How Come"?

So he dispatches Bradley Broadshoulders & Ugh ("a cross between a Martian and a Texan") to go find out! Duo will eventually land on the world Kruvny, & make contact with Sloths, half its natives. And find out why Sloths aren't attacking earth!

On their way back, they'll also learn that earthmen don't really need aliens to destroy their home, they're quite capable of doing it themselves.

Fact sheet.

First published: Amazing Stories, October-November 1953.
Download full text from Project Gutenberg, Manybooks, or Feedbooks.
Rating: B.
Related: Funny stories.