Ray Bradbury's "Eat, Drink and Be Wary" (flash fiction, humor, free)

A "Venusian banquet lasts a week or ten days, sometimes more, with eight meals a day & twenty courses to a meal." That's normal for Venusians with their ultra-fast metabolism.

But when a human diplomat is invited to one of these banquets, saying no is not an option & going there is death sentence. So our diplomat will seek some scientific help...

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, July 1942.
Download full text as part of the scans of the magazine it originally appeared in.
Rating: B.
Among the stories from Analog/Astounding issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of Ray Bradbury.

Marissa Lingen's "The Radioactive Etiquette Book" (novelette, diplomacy, humor)

A human diplomat posted at some alien site has to deal with incomprehensible motives of different species of aliens. Specific situations in the story include kidnap of some human kids & stealing of the diplomatic rule book ("The Radioactive Etiquette Book"), neither of which the aliens consider bad.

The story makes a lot of effort to be funny, but it just didn't work for me.

Fact sheet.

First published: Analog, March 2013.
Rating: B.

Poul Anderson's "The Helping Hand" (novelette, diplomacy, free)

This one might be read differently in rich vs poor countries. It's about the real nature of the so called "aid" given by rich countries to poor ones. While the term has practically vanished from India during the last 2 decades, local readers should find a lot here that strikes a cord.

This story is about a rich & powerful country wanting, altruistically, it would seem, to give "aid" for reconstruction to two poor countries that have just been through a war & are both in bad shape. One country accepts it; other doesn't. Story looks at the evolution of these two countries - which one comes out better off 50 years down the line, one that accepts the aid or the one that refuses it.

Countries involved are actually star faring empires. Earth is the rich one. Two warring parties are the alien worlds of Cundaloa & Skontar.

See also.

1. L Sprague de Camp's "Finished" (download as part of a larger package): Another story that deals with a rich vs poor country issue that used to be an emotional one in India till 1980s, even a bit in 1990s, but is rarely heard of now - technology sanctions as a diplomatic policy tool.

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, May 1950.
Read online at BookReader, or download full text as part of the scans of Astounding (British ed), June 1951.
Rating: A.
Nominated for Retro Hugo Award in 2001.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of Poul Anderson.

Eric Frank Russell's "Brute Farce" (short story, diplomacy, humor, free): Meet a lateral thinker...

In my book, this is among the better stories of Russell. And apparently never reprinted. May be my tastes are different from most editors?

This is the kind of story Russell is best known for: a lone smart alec vs a less witful universe.

Story summary.

In a galactic Union of many species & worlds, two particular ones - Drenes & Salamards - have been corroding the atmosphere by their constant bickering & minor fights, both driven by ambitious, unscrupulous & corrupt leaders.

Sebastian Snodgrass is an unconventional diplomat assigned by Terra to solve the problem. Very funny story.

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, February 1958.
Download full text as part of the scans of Astounding (British edition), May 1958.
Rating: A.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of Eric Frank Russell (annotated & ranked list).

Walter M Miller, Jr's "Check and Checkmate" (novelette, diplomacy, free): An unusual weapon for diplomatic haggling & espionage

Much of it sounds like Indo-Pak "talks" we constantly seem to have! If individuals were doing it rather than countries, we would have called them neurotic.

Story summary.

This is a cold war story - US vs Soviet Union. Only both are replaced by complicated alternate tags: "Western Federation of Autonomous States" & "Asian Proletarian League", respectively.

After a 4 decade of isolation, the two have now opened a communications channel - their Presidents have began talking to each other. Over the course of the story, one will learn, too late, that the other has an unusual weapon that gives its side TOTAL advantage over the other...

Fact sheet.

First published: If, January 1953.
Download full text from Project Gutenberg, Manybooks, Feedbooks.
Rating: B.
Related: Stories of Walter M Miller.

Evelyn E Smith's "Helpfully Yours" (novelette, farce, free): When in Rome, behave like...

Old trope - aliens vs humans - used to illustrate some intercultural behavior & to make some points about the US of its times. Hilarious at times, funny all the way through.

Story summary.

Tarb Morfatch is the first Fizbian "woman" to arrive on earth; only men have been here so far. She'll be joining the Terran Edition of The Fizbian Times newspaper in New York. Her job is to write the newspaper's agony aunt column called "Helpfully Yours".

Story is of her cultural shock, & of efforts of her boss, Stet Zarnon - more a diplomat than a newspaper editor - to educate her on local customs & manners.

Fact sheet.

First published: Galaxy Science Fiction, February 1955.
Download full text from Project Gutenberg, Manybooks, Feedbooks.
[via John E Rogers, Jr @ Asimov's Forum]
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of Evelyn E Smith; Fiction from 1950s; Tuesday Classics.

Christopher Anvil's "Top Rung" (short story, leadership, free): Even the man at the top needs something to look UP to

James L Kevv, newly appointed terran ambassador to the country called Gurt on a world called Knackruth, has a tough job ahead: put up with its impossible to get along with dictator, & ensure earth keeps getting supplies of "quadrite" - a material needed for space drives that's rare on earth & abundant on Gurt.

In the process, Kevv will learn something that ails some men at the top & what the fix is.

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, July 1958.
Download full text from Webscription, or as part of the scans of Astounding issue where it originally appeared.
Rating: B.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of Christopher Anvil; fiction from 1950s.

John Scalzi's "After the Coup" (short story, sports, humor, free)

I had an impression humor in Scalzi's fiction was intended only for US readers, but this one should be broadly comprehensible. Good stuff - sort of like A Bertram Chandler rewriting Fredric Brown's "Arena" (download), with the twisted rules Ender had to fight with in Card's "Ender's Game".

Story summary.

Diplomacy with aliens called Korbans requires one of the human "CDF soldiers", one who hasn't fought for years, to fight a sort of multi-round wrestling match in an arena with a Korban. And with rules all twisted against him. And he's required to lose, but not by a large margin!

Fun ensues.

Fact sheet.

First published: tor.com, sometime in July 2008.
Download full text from publisher's site.
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of John Scalzi.

Patricia Stewart's "An Ounce of Prevention" (flash fiction, diplomacy, free)

It begins as a variation on the main scene in J Francis McComas' "Brave New World", but then moves in the opposite direction.

Story summary.

Humans are at war with aliens called Torellians. Then, during a routine meeting between the two sides, human ambassador Dorn plays a game that really puts the fear of humans into alien hearts...

Fact sheet.

First published: 365tomorrows, 7 December 2009.
Download full text from publisher's site.
Rating: B.
Related: Stories of Patricia Stewart; stories about diplomacy.

Tom Godwin's "--And Devious the Line of Duty" (short story, diplomacy, romance, free): A young man gets his heart broken as part of his work

This is the lightest read I've seen yet from the author of "The Cold Equations". Mildly humorous. No great ideas - just a love quadrangle & a bit of diplomacy; good enough for a lazy Sunday afternoon.

While the story has a space theme, plot would have been no different in any essential way had it been set on earth.

Story summary.

Humans are spread through stars. Story involves two major powers - Terran Republic & Verdam People's Worlds. Terrans are influential & good (because protagonists are from here). Verdam are bad guys from opposite faction, out to grab some of the power Terrans currently wield.

Jardeen is a neutral power. Not important in itself, but swaying it either way will substantially add to the cause of Terrans or Verdam. This story is about a meeting among the various parties involved - on a third neutral world called Vesta.

Terran Republic is represented by a veteran diplomat George Rockford, & an inexperienced & expendable young military Lieutenant Dale Hunter. Others include "Val Boran, Jardeen's Secretary of Foreign Relations", "Verdam's Special Envoy Sonig; a wily little man". Plus two Vestans - Princess Lyla & Lord Narf.

Lyla is the sweet girl everyone wants to fall in love with. Narf is the evil man she is currently engaged to because of court reasons. Dale's job will require him to fall in love with Lyla, nearly die, & get his heart broken. Val will eventually win her over.

Through the story, bad men (Sonig & Narf) will plot evil deeds which will be eventually foiled by good ones. Ultimately a happy resolution, except for Dale.

Fact sheet.

First published: Analog Science Fact and Fiction, December 1962.
Download full text from Project Gutenberg.
Rating: A
Listed among the stories from Campbell's Astounding/Analog.
Related: All stories of Tom Godwin.