Clifford D Simak's "Rule 18" (novelette, humor): How earth won it's first football match against Martians in decades

Martians have been beating earth in annual football match for a long time. And the diagnosis is: earth-men have become soft because of too much automation here; they never get a chance to exercise their muscles. But things are about to change as a cool newly invented gadget, the earth team's coach sick of losing too long, & a betting syndicate come together...

Title comes from one of the rules of the game that requires a player of the team to not only be natives of his world, but his 9 preceding generations should have been native of this world too. Coach will twist this rule in a curious way to win.

Update 21 July 2014:  Marooned has a note on an Isaac Asimov connection to this story.

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, July 1938.
Rating: B.
Nominated for Retro Hugo Awards 1939 in novelette category.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of Clifford D Simak.

Fredric Brown's "Knock" (short story, alien invasion, free)

Going by the comments online, it appears to be among the better known stories of Brown. Not a very believable conclusion, but light fun read.

Story summary.

Aliens called "Zan" have raided earth. They took a few hundred animal specimen alive - among them a man & a woman, & killed off all other life on earth. These specimen, including the humans, have now been put as exhibits in a zoo on earth, & this advanced raiding party of aliens is preparing to claim earth as permanent residence.

The man will pull off a coup of sorts, scaring aliens enough with his
ingenuity to make them leave earth...

Collected in.

1. Everett F Bleiler & T E Dikty (eds)' "The Best Science Fiction Stories: 1949".

Fact sheet.

First published: Thrilling Wonder Stories, December 1948.
Download full text.
Download audio of X Minus One radio adaptation of this story from Internet Archive. (alt MP3 link)
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of Fredric Brown.

Donald B Day's "Jaephus" (short story, humor, free)

Adventures of a man with a "lobbly" named Jaephus - a naughty invisible, presumably intelligent, creature with wings, tentacles & other unusual anatomical features.

Fact sheet.

First published: Fanscient, Fall 1948.
Download full text as part of the magazine it originally appeared in, or read online as HTML.
Rating: B.

Henry Kuttner's "Extrapolation" (short story, satire, free): Science fiction vs fantasy wars in fandom

Author tells us why there won't be any science fiction or fantasy magazines after 1958, a decade after this story was published.

He's using some sort of prescience to find this, but no details are given. And there is suggestion it's not humans doing the editing in 1958, just before the end of the genre.

Fact sheet.

First published: Fanscient, Fall 1948.
Download full text as part of the magazine it originally appeared in, or read online as HTML.
Rating: B.
Related: Stories of Henry Kuttner.

Kurt Vonnegut's "While Mortals Sleep" (short story, Christmas, non-genre)

This is light hearted christmas story of a newspaper editor obsessed with his work & uninterested in fun things like christmas celebrations.

Circumstances put him on a committee that will judge the town's Annual Christmas Outdoor Lighting Contest. So we'll see him turning the job into a news making exercise...

Title comes from a Christmas song in the story (I don't know if the song is real or imaginary):
  For Christ is born of Mary,
  And gathered all above,
  While mortals sleep, the angels keep
  Their watch of wondering love.

Fact sheet.

First published: Kurt Vonnegut's "While Mortals Sleep: Unpublished Short Fiction" (2011).
Rating: B.
Related: Stories of Kurt Vonnegut.

Kenneth Schneyer's "Life of the Author Plus Seventy" (short story, humor): Legal implications of human hibernation

Three major themes here, often told in a hilarious way:

1. Customer service dysfunction.
2. A parody of US copyright law, particularly w.r.t. Disney case.
3. Legal implications of human hibernation.

Story summary.

A not very successful author has a novel published but it's not selling much. He bugs local library enough to make them buy a copy, but no one is borrowing it. So he himself borrows it, but forgets to return it.

He'll later get a job with a company in a creative role, & is made to sign a curiously twisted copyright clause in the employment contract that gives the company the copyright over his creations for hundreds of years rather than "just" 120 years: when he's about to die, the company will have a right to hibernate him for up to 500 years, so copyright rule of author's life + 70 years applies!

A decade after borrowing the book, library has handed over the overdue & fines collection to a debt collection agency, & he receives his first overdue & fines bill - a couple of hundred thousand dollars. Hilarity ensues as he gets into negotiations with the debt collector, & later tries evading it...

Fact sheet.

First published: Analog, September 2013.
Rating: A.
Added to my "best of 2013" list.

David V Reed's "Penance Cruise" (novella, adventure, humor, free)

Two young soldiers, off duty & drunk in an alien land, misbehave with local high officials. Resulting court martial hands them a sentence to go on a mission under a witless local official - a mission to catch a dangerous brigand. This is the funny story of their adventure to catch the brigand.

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, July 1942.
Download full text as part of the scans of the magazine it originally appeared in.
Rating: B.
Among the stories from Analog/Astounding issues edited by John Campbell.

Ray Bradbury's "Eat, Drink and Be Wary" (flash fiction, humor, free)

A "Venusian banquet lasts a week or ten days, sometimes more, with eight meals a day & twenty courses to a meal." That's normal for Venusians with their ultra-fast metabolism.

But when a human diplomat is invited to one of these banquets, saying no is not an option & going there is death sentence. So our diplomat will seek some scientific help...

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, July 1942.
Download full text as part of the scans of the magazine it originally appeared in.
Rating: B.
Among the stories from Analog/Astounding issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of Ray Bradbury.

Henry Kuttner & C L Moore's "All is Illusion" (short story, humor, free): Never pick up a fight with a magician...

A man picks up a fight with a midget magician in a bar, & gets cursed: "I lay on you the curse of illusion. The blight of the five senses! I put upon you the veil of Proteus!"

And the fun begins... others sometime get a foul smell out of him but he himself cannot smell it, others hear funny noises from his stomach when he cannot, other see a duck or a horse where he is, ...

Fact sheet.

First published: Unknown, April 1940.
Read online at UNZ.
Note: If you are using an Android tablet, here is a way to pick up this file as a pdf from Google Drive: note 1 & note 2. This method doesn't, however, work at least in my Firefox on Windows XP, & Android browsers don't let me copy the URL of pdf.
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of Henry Kuttner, C L Moore.

Marissa Lingen's "The Radioactive Etiquette Book" (novelette, diplomacy, humor)

A human diplomat posted at some alien site has to deal with incomprehensible motives of different species of aliens. Specific situations in the story include kidnap of some human kids & stealing of the diplomatic rule book ("The Radioactive Etiquette Book"), neither of which the aliens consider bad.

The story makes a lot of effort to be funny, but it just didn't work for me.

Fact sheet.

First published: Analog, March 2013.
Rating: B.

Bud Sparhawk's "The Snack" (short story, humor): App assisted healthy living

I found it easy to relate to because I'm in a similar quandary: years of attempts at shedding weight got me nowhere. An app based approach - food & exercise tracking using Simple Calorie Count on Android phone - seems to be working now, but is far from satisfactory - healthy meals aren't as satisfying when body is used to junk food & it seems to be working rather slowly - I've lost just 3 kg in may be 4 months.

Story summary.

A man, to impress his girlfriend, is pretending to be a health freak & has all sorts of apps watching him all the time in a world where network connected sensors are everywhere - bathroom tiles measure your weight, your underwear measures your waist, ...

I found the story sometimes quite funny.

Fact sheet.

First published: Analog, March 2013.
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of Bud Sparhawk.

Kurt Vonnegut's "The Humbugs" (short story, humor, non-genre): My husband is better than yours!

Two painters - one old worldly wise, other young & idealistic. Younger one is poor, older one knows how to make money (will make a painting where the color of sunset matches your curtains, e.g.). Each thinks he's crappy & the other one has got all the talent. Each has a wife that adores her husband for his talent & thinks other is a humbug, a fraud.

One day, a wives' altercation results in a wager: each husband will make a painting in the style of the other, & we'll see who's more talented! Curious events follow...

Fact sheet.

First published: Kurt Vonnegut's "While Mortals Sleep: Unpublished Short Fiction" (2011).
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of Kurt Vonnegut.

Henry Kuttner & C L Moore's "The World is Mine" (as by Lewis Padgett) (novelette, humor, free)

This is part of authors' well known series featuring Gallagher, the mad scientist. I used to love these stories when I first encountered them; I'm no longer as much a fan, but this is still a light fun read.

Story summary.

Gallaghar wakes up from his yet another drinking bout to find a series of curiosities - 3 rabbit-like Martians ("Lybblas") from 500 years into future who want to conquer earth, a time machine focused on his backyard that cannot be turned off & that he apparently invented when his genius unconscious was in control, & a series of corpses of himself from future each with a ray gun hole through his chest.

The story is about putting the puzzle together, inventing a couple of other gadgets along the way.

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, June 1943.
Download full text as part of the scans of the magazine it originally appeared in.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Rating: B.
Related: Stories of Henry Kuttner, C L Moore (as by Lewis Padgett).

Kurt Vonnegut's "Bomar" (short story, humor): When a practical joke in office boomeranged

Carmody & Sterling, working in part of the company that does book-keeping for shareholders, have created a myth about a certain Mr Bomar Fessenden III. They picked this name from the shareholders list - because the name looked heavy & interesting! From the name & address they have, they give him an imaginary personality - of a deranged & wealthy playboy friend of one of the duo.

Only their lady office colleague has taken the story seriously. With consequences the duo could not have foreseen...

Fact sheet.

First published: Kurt Vonnegut's "While Mortals Sleep: Unpublished Short Fiction" (2011).
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of Kurt Vonnegut.

Kurt Vonnegut's "Tango" (short story, humor)

This is a funny coming of age story.

An exclusive highbrow town somewhere in the US where everyone behaves exactly as expected - in a gentlemanly or lady-like way. But a teenager has discovered fun dancing the wild "Tango" - an indiscretion that will lead to both hilarity & chaos!

Fact sheet.

First published: Kurt Vonnegut's "While Mortals Sleep: Unpublished Short Fiction" (2011).
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of Kurt Vonnegut.

Humor: True story of Columbus' voyage

@XKCD.

Christopher Anvil's "Positive Feedback" (short story, humor, free): How inflation works, & a remedy

This is hilarious stuff. And while the story is about car repair rather than programming, if you are a programmer who grew up writing C code in vi & handcrafting makefiles, & lived through the transition to Visual Studio, you'll likely find bits of it very familiar.

Story summary.

A company called Superdee Equipment has invented a new "Automated Car Service Handling Machine" but is unable to sell it to garages. So the managers figure out a way to push the machines through...

Fact sheet.

First published: Analog, August 1965.
Download full text from an archived copy of what used to be Baen Free Library. [via Stephen Harker @rasfw]
Rating: A.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of Christopher Anvil.

Eric Brown's "Diamond Doubles" (flash fiction, humor, free)

This discovery of old correspondence between an sf editor & a wannabe author should shed some light on a series of human disappearances...

Plots elements of the story have been done any number of times before, but I still liked it.

Fact sheet.

First published: Daily Science Fiction, 16 July 2013.
Download full text from publisher's site. [via Quasar Dragon]
Rating: A.

John Grant's "Buzz off" (flash fiction, first contact, humor, free)

A fleet of elder alien race of "Sgrin'th" has arrived on earth, hoping to help the aborigines grow out of their "cultural infantilization" & to help fix the ruined climate.

But on contact, humans are extraordinarily hostile. Aliens are baffled, but perhaps you as a human can figure out the reason for hostility...

Fact sheet.

First published: Nature, 20 June 2013.
Download full text from publisher's site.
Rating: A.

Jack Sharkey's "Double or Nothing" (short story, mad scientist, humor, free)

This is silly. And funny.

A crazy serial inventor is onto his new invention - an anti-gravity machine.

After many bugs, the machine flies but with a crazy side effect...

Fact sheet.

First published: Fantastic Stories of Imagination, May 1962.
Download full text from Project Gutenberg. [via QuasarDragon]
Rating: B.

Rudy Rucker's "Apricot Lane" (short story, dystopia, humor, free)

Crazy future where not only is every person always connected to the network directly via a brain link, but so is every inanimate object. In fact, inanimate objects get a certain computer intelligence. And everything is a service: you turn a doorknob to enter a room, a small micropayment is automatically deducted; you walk on a pavement, a micropayment is deducted; you look at a picture & like it, a payment is deducted; don't have money to pay & dare to walk on the street, the system will be at your throat!

It's silly & funny at the same time. Told from the point of view of a broke programmer of this networked world.

Caution: It will likely work only if you have at least a few years of sf reading behind. I know I would have hated it when I was starting.

Fact sheet.

First published: "An Aura of Familiarity: Visions from the Coming Age of Networked Matter" (anthology, 2013).
Download full text from publisher's site. [via SF Signal]
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of Rudy Rucker.

Alex Shvartsman's "The epistolary history" (flash fiction, time travel, humor, free)

While the idea is like any number of old time travel stories - a man travels to make a "minor" tweak to past to make a better present, it made me smile more than once.

Fact sheet.

First published: Nature, 25 April 2013.
Download full text from publisher's site.
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of Alex Shvartsman.

Conor Powers-Smith's "For your information" (flash fiction, humor, free): The future of social networks

Is it so far fetched to expect everyone's genome as standard component of their online profile, just like photos are? Not entirely funny things happen when a lover decides to check her potential partner's profile...

Fact sheet.

First published: Nature, 4 April 2013.
Download full text from publisher's site.
Rating: B.

Lee Michael Ash's "A Darling Situation" (short story, humor, free)

A woman conceives a baby through a new genetic engineering process, with many all-new genes. After birth, the freak everyone was expecting turns out to be a normal adorable baby, & extremely well behaves one.

But there are freak genes in this lovely baby, as they begin manifesting a year down the line...

Fact sheet.

First published: Cosmos, 18 April 2013.
Download full text from publisher's website.
Rating: B.

John Frizell's "Pest control" (flash fiction, humor, free)

A way to get rid of ugly rats at home...

Fact sheet.

First published: Nature, 10 January 2013.
Download full text from publisher's website.
Rating: B.

William Morrison's "Bad Medicine" (short story, humor, free)

Don't look for logic, & it's a light fun read.

Story summary.

A couple of human conmen running their "Gigantic Medicine Show" have landed on Saturn, attracting curious Saturnians to crowd around their ship. So they open shop - selling "The Red Mans' Old-Fashioned Radioactive Herb Remedy, fortified with vitamins A to R inclusive, the latter made with the most recently discovered carbon isotope", with the promise it will "increase your intelligence a thousandfold!" But payment should be in the form of red bead necklaces Saturnians wear - dirt cheap there, very pricey on earth.

Well, both sides will successfully trade what they desire ... to the horror of the sellers...

Fact sheet.

First published:  Thrilling Wonder Stories, February 1941.
Download full text from Pulpgen. [via QuasarDragon]
Rating: B.
Related: Stories of William Morrison.

John G Hemry's "The Sergeant-Major" (shortstory, satire): When British trumped over a Martian tripod

Actually, the story has a much longer title:  "The War of the Worlds, Book One, Chapter 18: The Sergeant-Major".

It's a military satire. And a fanfic - being an episode from "The War of the Worlds" (download) that Mr H G Wells failed to write. Because it's completely opposite the running theme of Wells' classic - British easily trumping over the Martian invaders (in Wells book, you get the impression it's humanity vs Martians, even though it happens in
England).

One of the alien tripods heads towards a garrison of colonial Britain in India, so Sergeant-Major Richardson & a few soldiers are sent to take care of it.

Fact sheet.

First published: Analog, January/February 2013.
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of John G Hemry.

Christopher Anvil's "Revolt!" (novelette, humor, machine monster, free)

First half is a hilarious turf war between two government departments. Later half is a fast paced drama to overcome massive machine monsters running amok; less interesting than first half but readable.

Story is set in Cygnus system in orbit around a high gravity world. Humans want to mine it for some ore, but cannot normally get down because of high g. They must "wear" state of the art "delGrange suits" to go down. But the catch is, these suits are too perfect...

Note.

There is a bit of Poul Anderson's "Call Me Joe" (download an audio, or a comic book adaptation) & Clifford Simak's "Desertion" (download as part of a larger package) here (a variant was filmed in "Avatar"). A man can get down to an environment normally impossible to man only in a different body. Only he starts liking his new body better than the original one...

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, April 1958.
Download full text from Baen Books, or as part of the scans of Astounding (British Edition), July 1958 where it was reprinted.
Rating: A.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of Christopher Anvil.

Sheila Adamson's "Stumpy" (short story, humor, free): Don't cry wolf in jest...

An old & lonely woman resenting her helplessness brought by age gets help, in the form of a robot. Lot of fun as she finds a use for robot...

Fact sheet.

First published: Cosmos, 23 November 2012.
Download full text from publisher's website.
Rating: A.

Isaac Asimov's "Playboy and the Slime God" aka "What Is This Thing Called Love?" (short story, parody)

Skip it if the discussion of sex embarrasses you.

The moment I read the first line, I knew I'd read the story before. But it's been some years, so I read it again. And wasn't disappointed.

This is a hilarious parody of bug-eyed monsters from outer spaces coming to earth to kidnap girls to satisfy their sexual urges. Plus there is a ... sort of critique of Playboy magazine.

Story summary.

Slimy alien scientist from far off part of galaxy kidnaps a man & a woman to demonstrate to his boss that earth is a major danger to galaxy & must be destroyed. Danger because its creatures don't "bud" singly to produce the young as is the norm everywhere, but reproduce by combining genes from two separate individuals, thus significantly accelerating the evolution. Only problem is: his knowledge of human reproduction & anatomy is limited to Playboy magazine & bug-eyed monster kind of sf literature.

Hilarity ensues as the two aliens coax the man & the woman to couple & produce a child...

Notes.

From editor's introduction to this story in "Great Science Fiction from Amazing", #1:

'Several months ago a magazine named Playboy, which concentrates editorially on girls, books, girls, art, music, fashion, girls & girls, published an article about old-time science-fiction. Called "Girls for the Slime God," it was illustrated with synthetic covers of non-existent sf magazines, each replete with bug-eyed monster, mad scientist, & partially naked, nubile girl.'

'We commissioned one of sf's most sex-appealing writers to create a story especially for the insatiable Playboy, & to prove to him that sf has not forgotten that S-X is the most important thing in the Universe.'

Fact sheet.

First published: Amazing Stories, March 1961.
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of Isaac Asimov.

Alex Shvartsman's "The tell-tale ear" (flash fiction, spam, humor, free)

CEO of a spamming outfit gets a taste of his own medicine...

Fact sheet.

First published: Nature, 18 October 2012.
Download full text from publisher's site.
Rating: A.

Scott C Mikula's "Temporal ventures robbed me" (flash fiction, humor, free)

Funny report of an unhappy customer of Temporal Venture, who purchased their "'Classic Caribbean' package" traveling to "the year 1720" & came back unhappy...

Fact sheet.

First published: Nature, 11 October 2012.
Download full text from publisher's site.
Rating: B.

H G Wells' "The Chronic Argonauts" (novelette, time travel, free)

This is supposed to be the first time machine story of science fiction, predating author's own "The Time Machine" (download) by 7 years. Time machine in this story is called "the Chronic Argo, the ship that sails through time".

Story summary.

An ordinary Welsh village of Llyddwdd gets a lot of excitement as a mysterious stranger suddenly begins occupying the village's haunted house. A stranger with a strange taste in things mechanical.

Made me smile several times.

Fact sheet.

First published: The Science Schools Journal (1888) (published by the Royal College of Science).
Download full text from Gaslight. [via James W Harris @ClassicScienceFiction]
Rating: A. 
Related: Stories of H G Wells; fiction from 19th century.

Eric Frank Russell's "Brute Farce" (short story, diplomacy, humor, free): Meet a lateral thinker...

In my book, this is among the better stories of Russell. And apparently never reprinted. May be my tastes are different from most editors?

This is the kind of story Russell is best known for: a lone smart alec vs a less witful universe.

Story summary.

In a galactic Union of many species & worlds, two particular ones - Drenes & Salamards - have been corroding the atmosphere by their constant bickering & minor fights, both driven by ambitious, unscrupulous & corrupt leaders.

Sebastian Snodgrass is an unconventional diplomat assigned by Terra to solve the problem. Very funny story.

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, February 1958.
Download full text as part of the scans of Astounding (British edition), May 1958.
Rating: A.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of Eric Frank Russell (annotated & ranked list).

Fredric Brown & Mack Reynolds' "The Switcheroo" (short story, body snatching, humor, free)

Title refers to a gadget. Inventor's "pet name for it, of course. Actually it is a psychoreversamentatron." It helps you snatch bodies. You point it at yourself, think hard of someone, & flick a switch. And your consciousness moves into the body of the person you were thinking of, & his consciousness moves into the body you have. Other person need not be close to you at the time of using the gadget.

Inventor of the gadget & a press reporter privy to its secret both want to get rid of someone - inventor of his nagging wife, reporter of his unbearable boss. And then there are the desirable bodies of the state governor & of the President (both of US). Some fun the duo will have switching bodies.

Fact sheet.

First published: Other Worlds, March 1951.
Download full text as part of the scans of the magazine it originally appeared in.
Rating: B.
Related: Stories of Fredric Brown, Mack Reynolds.

Murray Leinster's "Historical Note" (short story, satire, free): What if personal flyers became a reality?

I have a feeling I've read this before, though I didn't remember the details.

It's both a lampooning of communist Soviet Union & a science fictional "what if" on small personal flyers. Indian readers should find some of the idiocy of the lampooning parts familiar.

Collected in.

1. John W Campbell, Jr (ed)'s "The Astounding Science Fiction Anthology".

See also.

1. Clifford D Simak's "City" (novelette, 1944): Leinster's version also deals with the central idea (how suburbs will be remade if personal fliers became widely owned) of this widely loved story, but only in a passing way.

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, February 1951.
Read online at Docin.
Among the stories from John Campbell's Astounding/Analog.
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of Murray Leinster.

K W Lessing's "Meihem in ce Klasrum" (as by Dolton Edwards) (satire, linguistics, free)

This is not really fiction, but one of those non-fact articles that Astounding sometimes published.

It describes a funny plan to turn written English into a phonetic language. Curious title is "Mayhem in the Classroom" in this evolved English.

Collected in.

1. John W Campbell, Jr (ed)'s "The Astounding Science Fiction Anthology".

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, September 1946.
Download full text from Tim's page.
Rating: A.
Among the stories edited by John Campbell for Astounding/Analog.

Eric Frank Russell's "Study in Still Life" aka "Still Life" (novelette, bureaucracy, satire)

This would rank among my all time favorites. Very funny satire on bureaucracy.

Only puzzling thing is: why hasn't it been widely anthologized?

Story summary.

A star faring human empire spread across many worlds. Moving goods between worlds is expensive, so they're prioritized. Of course, the liqueur for an influential bureaucrat on an outworld has higher priority than equipment needed to make the place habitable!

We get to view a fat bureaucracy in action, as a well intentioned insider games the system to get the cargo shipments' priorities right...

Collected in.

1. Eric Frank Russell's "Major Ingredients" (ed Rick Katze).

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, January 1959.
Rating: A.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of Eric Frank Russell (annotated list).

Eric Frank Russell's "Muten" (as by Duncan H Munro) (short story, humor): Fun transporting an intelligent talking horse

US government's Board of Social Survey keeps a record of country's mutants. Now they've got a call for a possible mutant, & Steven Yule is dispatched to investigate it. He finds the mutant all right, only it's a horse - an intelligent talking horse! A lot of fun transporting him to government's labs...

Title is mutant mispronounced by the farmer in whose stables talking horse was born.

See also.

1. James Blish's "How Beautiful With Banners" (download): Another story where the resolution is primarily by sexual arousal.

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, October 1948.
Rating: A.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of Eric Frank Russell (as by Duncan H Munro) (annotated list).

Mohsen H Darabi's "Loyalty beyond seasons" (flash fiction, romance, humor, free)

Curious case of a romance where man & woman "come into season" at different times each year!

Fact sheet.

First published: Nature, 3 May 2012.
Download full text from publisher's site.
Rating: A. 

Matthew Grigg's "Professor Panini" (short story, body snatching, humor, free)

This story is nonsense, but still readable & light.

A man built a mind swapping machine - it can swap the minds of any two intelligent entities. As he set out to test it by swapping minds of a duck & a cat, something unexpected happened...

Fact sheet.

First published: East of the Web. When?
Download full text from publisher's site. [via Inez Ponce de Leon]
Rating: B.  

L Sprague de Camp's "Emperor's Fan" (short story, magic, humor): Emperor's ultimate defense against potential assassins!

Emperor, always fearful of assassination, has finally got the ultimate weapon against the potential assassins: an old magical fan. You open it, & fan it on someone; the one fanned at vanishes! Where do they vanish? "One theory ... is that they are translated to a higher dimension, coexistent with this one. Another holds that they are dispersed into constituent atoms, which, however, retain such mutual affinities that they can be reassembled when the signal for recall" is given.

This recall signal is in the form of a code. You fold the fan, & tap your left wrist, right wrist, & forehead in a certain sequence & a certain number of times. One code recalls the vanished kings, another vanished prime ministers, another vanished dragons, another vanished beggars, ... A little code book documents "all the categories of organic beings subject to the fan's power."

So we have fun as the king & sundry power usurpers use the fan, & adventures of one of them trying to reconstruct the lost code book experimentally.

Collected in.

1. "The Best of L Sprague de Camp".

Fact sheet.

First published: Harry Harrison (ed)'s "Astounding: John W Campbell Memorial Anthology" (1973)
Rating: B.
Related: Stories of L Sprague de Camp.

Theodore Cogswell's "The Spectre General" (novella, military sf, humor): Neither is complete, till they come together!

A human galactic empire, long since fallen apart.

A spaceship maintenance battalion of its military got stranded on a front world, now long forgotten & isolated. But in a funny variation of "A Canticle for Leibowitz", they carry on the tradition of teaching spacecraft & machine maintenance to their kids, & maintain a sort of military discipline, though the society has fallen to primitive agrarian levels & no one thinks the machines they learn to fix can actually do something.

Elsewhere, a military version of empire has come up, next in command always intriguing to unseat the current ruler. Current ruler denies technical staff to commanders who could potentially unseat him, to keep them weak.

So we have a military commander with fleet falling apart & no one to fix things. And an isolated world of trained maintenance men who don't even believe the machines they can fix can do anything useful. Results should be interesting when the two parties meet...

Collected in.

1. Ben Bova (ed)'s "The Science Fiction Hall of Fame, Volume Two B".

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, June 1952.
Rating: A.
Among the stories in Astounding/Analog issues edited John Campbell.

L Sprague de Camp's "Two Yards of Dragon" (novelette, fantasy, humor): Adventures dragon hunting

Among the best of de Camp, & one of the more entertaining stories by anyone.

Note: Dialogues are in funny English: E.g., "an ye were Emmerhard's son-in-law, he'd use his influence to get you your spurs. Here ye be, a strapping youth of three-and-twenty, not yet knighted. 'Tis a disgrace to our lineage."
I didn't follow every word, but there was no difficulty following the intent.

Story summary.

Enchanter Baldonius has promised the hand of his daughter Lusina to Eudoric Dambertson, esquire, provided the young man can bring him two square yards of dragon hide! Story is mostly adventures of Eudoric on this dragon hunt.

Collected in.

1. "The Best of L Sprague de Camp".

Fact sheet.

First published: Lin Carter (ed)'s "Flashing Swords! #3: Warriors and Wizards" (1976).
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of L Sprague de Camp.

Piers Anthony's "Possible To Rue" (short story, humor)

A single dad's difficulty finding a birthday present to the satisfaction of his 6 year old...

Quite funny. And it's the first published story of the author.

Fact sheet.

First published: Fantastic Stories of Imagination, April 1963.
Rating: B.
Related: Stories of Piers Anthony.

Mark W Moffett's "Picnic with ants" (flash fiction, humor, free)

Funny diary of a field worker's observations of an ants' colony...

See also.

1. Story makes a reference to Prof E O Wilson, author's teacher. There is a good hard sf story about an ant colony by E O Wilson - "Trailhead" (download) (reads like a documentary, but I liked it).

Fact sheet.

First published: Nature, 16 February 2012.
Download full text from publisher's site.
Rating: A.
Added to my "best of 2012" list.

Piers Anthony's "The Toaster" (short story, humor, free)

Some consumers don't welcome feature-bloat in their gadgets...

See also.

1. Henry Kuttner & C L Moore's "The Twonky" (download): Very funny story of a feature-rich "radio".

Fact sheet.

First published: Piers Anthony's "Anthonology" (coll) (1985).
Read online at Scribd. (slow page load).
Rating: A.
Related: Stories of Piers Anthony.

Fredric Brown's "Pi in the Sky" (novelette, humor)

Very funny ending, of an apparently serious story told with a straight face.

Astronomers the worlds over suddenly start observing extremely unusual motions of far away stars. Physics seems to be up for some serious revision. And then, a few days later, they as suddenly stop moving, basically relocating to new positions, relative earth, that serve a grand end...

Fact sheet.

First published: Thrilling Wonder Stories, Winter 1945.
Rating: A.Related: Stories of Fredric Brown.

Ed M Clinton's "Untechnological Employment" (flash fiction, humor, free)

How the political considerations affect engineering decisions...

Fact sheet.

First published: Analog, November 1962.
Download full text from Project Gutenberg.
Rating: B.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.

L Sprague de Camp's "The Guided Man" (novelette, humor): Call center to help the socially awkward

I seem to be picking up stories with risque elements lately. This one has nudism & a contest to select the bustiest woman. Another one I recently read - Heinlein's "The Puppet Masters" - requires everyone in the US to be nude when in public, by a Presidential decree!

This also is probably the oldest story I've seen so far with chip implants. It also has wireless 2-way communications at city-size distances & short range wireless communications akin to bluetooth.
PS: Puppet Masters too has aliens whose memory works in ways similar to modern electronic devices! But more on Puppet Masters some other time.

Story summary.

Say you are one of those people uncomfortable in certain social situations. Like during job interviews, or when talking to a girl you find attractive. Now here is a call center service just for you.

They'll plant a chip in your head. And they'll give you a little device with a button that goes in your pant pocket. When you press the button, the chip in your head allows a call center agent to take over your head: you're aware of everything, but your body language, speech, body movements, etc are controlled by the agent. To regain control, press the switch again. Before the event, brief your agent about it & give him the time, so he'll be prepared.

This is a funny story of a man who hires the call center services to get a job, & to get help impressing the girl he's mooning. Only the call center agent assigned himself gets interested in the girl...

See also.

1. Mary Shelley's "Transformation" (download): Hero (in good faith!) exchanges his body with an evil magician, only the magician now gets interested in hero's girlfriend.

Collected in.

1. "The Best of L Sprague de Camp".

Fact sheet.

First published: Startling Stories, October 1952.
Rating: B.
Related: Stories of L Sprague de Camp.

Nicole Rendall's "Everything Old Is New Again" (flash fiction, humor, free)

Sometimes the latest & greatest gizmos are less desirable than old working ones...

Funny thing is: it reminded me of my switch from Nokia dumbphone to Android smartphone. My mother has been bugging me to put the SIM card back in Nokia, or get a new SIM to keep Nokia alive. She finds Android's phone feature hopelessly complicated.

Fact sheet.

First published: Antipodean SF, February 2012.
Download full text from publisher's site.
Rating: A.

L Sprague de Camp's "The Inspector's Teeth" (short story, humor)

There are two things here that were very alien for me, & will likely make story more accessible to those better acquainted:

1. English language: A lot of dialogs are in a twisted form of it. Someone natively English will likely have less hard time comprehending.
2. Idea of "fraternities" in US universities.

I could follow the story, but it wasn't as much fun as it might have been.

Story summary.

A baby-dinosaur like alien, from a world called Osiris, was welcomed & accepted by many at the university he attended on earth during his younger years. Now, as ambassador of Osiris, he's returning earth a favor by signing a treaty that he knows is loaded in earth's favor.

Most of the main text is actually devoted to his funny life at the university.

Notes.

1. "Inspector's Teeth" refers to false teeth stolen by the first human explorer on Osiris that later found way to a museum on earth. Teeth belonging to a major hero of aliens. Teeth the alien protagonist of the story will steal from the museum during his student days & return them back home to their rightful place.

Collected in.

1. "The Best of L Sprague de Camp".

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, April 1939.
Rating: B.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of L Sprague de Camp.

L Sprague de Camp's "Nothing in the Rules" (novelette, humor): What if mermaids were allowed in women's swimming competitions?

While a light story, I got a feeling it's dragging a bit near end.

Story summary.

Item: Merfolk exist. Particularly near Cyprus.

Item: Since they live in the ocean, their hairs get wet. So they need to sit on rocks for a while to dry them! Won't it be wonderful if they had human bathing caps, so their hair remains dry?

That's how, Miss Delfoiros, the mermaid charged with procuring 10,000 bathing caps for merfolk, ended up in the New York City. In exchange for helping her get the caps, Herbert Laird, a swimming coach, will secure her participation in a forthcoming women's swimming competition; he wants to put Louis Connaught, his arch rival competitor coach, down in his place.

Fun ensues. Later, a (female) sea lion will also get added to the melee!

Collected in.

1. "The Best of L Sprague de Camp".

Fact sheet.

First published: Unknown, July 1939.
Rating: B.
Related: Stories of L Sprague de Camp.

L Sprague De Camp's "The Hardwood Pile" (novelette, humor): Never pick a fight with a "Norway maple" sprite!

Someone in the US imported a "Norway maple" sapling, & planted it there. It grew into a tree. It was home to Aceria, a maple spite, but she was happy so long as her tree was safe.

Now, years later, while Aceria was in hibernation, someone cut her tree & its boards are now in Dan Pringle's sawmill, ready for shipment. Aceria is now awake & requests Pringle to please not separate her trees components till she can find another "Norway maple" tree to haunt, but Pringle of course refuses; he has money tied up there. So sprite will need to show her magic to make Pringle fall in line...

Very funny story.

See also.

1. H L Gold's "Trouble with Water": Never pick a fight with a water gnome!

Collected in.

1. "The Best of L Sprague de Camp".

Fact sheet.

First published: Unknown, September 1940.
Rating: B.
Related: Stories of L Sprague de Camp.

Thoraiya Dyer's "Complaints Department" (flash fiction, humor, free)

Read the fine print, & still don't buy genetically accelerated seeds or animals...

Fact sheet.

First published: Nature, 13 October 2011.
Download full text from publisher's site.
Rating: B.

Humor: How to own the latest & greatest electronic gadgets?

Cartoon @XKCD.

James H Schmitz's "The Demon Breed" aka "The Tuvela" (novel, psychological warfare, humor, free): Humanity has secret super-human rulers!

Didn't you know humanity is ultimately ruled by a small population of supermen & superwomen - the Tuvelas? Well, get enlightened.

Very funny story of two very resourceful individuals - a young woman & an older man - vs ruthless invading aliens, on an uninhabited floating island on a remote waterworld.

Collected in.

1. James H Schmitz's "The Hub: Dangerous Territory".

See also.

1. Eric Frank Russell's "Next of Kin": Very funny novel with a similar but even crazier idea.

Fact sheet.

First published: Analog, September/October 1968.
Download full text from Webscription.  [via Bill Garthright @ ClassicScienceFiction]
Rating: A.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of James H Schmitz.

L Sprague de Camp's "The Merman" (short story, humor): A man becomes fish!

Vernon Brock, an aquarium researcher, has invented a gas: inhaled by an air-breather, it makes the lungs behave as gills! He's planning to try it on an alligator, but accidentally inhales it himself. Unable to breath air anymore, driven by a certain compulsion, he gets in an aquarium tank with "harmless" sharks - happily breathing water.

It's a somewhat funny story of the man's predicament...

Notes.

1. "Merman" is the male version of "mermaid", the way man in tank is jokingly referred to once or twice in the story.

Collected in.

1. "The Best of L Sprague de Camp".

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, December 1938.
Rating: B.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of L Sprague de Camp.

Christopher Anvil's "Pandora's Planet" (novelette, humor, free): Earth's alien invaders are harassed

Gets more & more unrealistic near end, but most of it is a very funny description of troubles with humanity of humanoid alien colonists of earth who want the mankind integrated into some sort of stellar community of intelligent beings.

Fact sheet.

First published: Astounding, September 1956.
Download full text from Webscription. [via Bill Garthright @ ClassicScienceFiction]
Rating: A.
Among the stories from Astounding/Analog issues edited by John Campbell.
Related: Stories of Christopher Anvil, alien invasion.